With the Dawn
by lefcadio
Summary: [JyuOhSei] Thor reflects, and begins to make peace with himself. Spoilers for end of series.


At first, some of them didn't really understand.

"Why are we still here?" they'd cry, all disgruntled frowns and confused anger. It was all over, wasn't it? Couldn't they leave?

So Thor told them. _No more secrets..._ Told them everything as they took shelter from the onslaught of the still-raging blizzards and dark skies above.

Somehow, he couldn't feel surprised at the expressions of shock; at the way some simply crumpled to their knees, face buried in hands. It felt clinical, almost. It was true; previously Chimaera had been their home, and yet... not.

But now, there was no such uncertainty.

That night he grieved for Tiz; for Zagi; for Third, and Heiser; for his mother and father and brother who _weren't_, but had been.

They were gone, because of him, and he had loved them all.

-

Dawn on Chimaera is a beautiful thing; reds and yellows tinge the sky, staining the clouds and giving the long, drawn out promise of day on the horizon. The forests glitter with the first pale rays - dappled earthy ground and scattered dew, intersected by glistening, twining vines.

Thor smiles faintly, leaning back against the weathered trunk of an old, harmless tree. Dawn brings light after all, and on Chimaera - especially now - light means hope. It'll be all right. They all will be.

There's still a dull ache inside him, one that makes it harder to laugh, harder to joke and smile - even harder to cry. Thor knows it will fade with time, but it will never disappear. Time heals all wounds, but cannot vanquish scars.

He wonders what Third would think, if he could see him now (--sometimes, he calls him Heiser, and the pale hair and sharp features stand out jarringly in his mind against the soft, warm image of familiar long dark hair and complacent smiles--) and, really, he knows.

_He laughs and then raises an eyebrow, shaking his head. "What are you doing? Just stop feeling sorry for yourself already!" - and then a gentle shove, and a warm hand lingering on his arm._

Thor rubs his forearm, the faux-present memory startlingly vivid. It's strange, isn't it? How although they're gone, it still feels as though he saw them all just yesterday.

Tiz, standing there among the greenery, smiling at him playfully.

"_We're still going to have children, right? And lots of them! Do you think they'll look like you, or me, or..." - and suddenly she's right here, throwing her arms around his neck._

He blinks and the feeling vanishes, as though deterred by the strengthening sun, yet an uncomfortable chill settles in the air.

"_Thor, Thor... you really need to stop this, you know." And there's Karim, lips full and red and not face down in the bloody snow-- and Zagi beside her, smirking and gripping her waist. _

"_She's right. You're useless, aren't you - can't you do this on your own?"_

But there's nothing there, and he knows this. He's alone, and the only real noise is that of the plants rustling in the undergrowth, and the faint chirping of insects.

Things are going to change; he can feel it, can see it coming with the advent of this dawn, and he knows what he'll have to do.

Organise; progress; move forward. The past is the past, and cannot be dwelled on forever no matter how painful or full of guilt it may be.

The sky brightens a little more, and for a moment there's blessed silence. A vine tendril curls convulsively near his foot, but Thor knows he doesn't need to move. Deep green, dirty brown; the surroundings are a mass of vivid, living colours; Chimaera's veneer of semi-sentient skin. And they're a part of it, now more than ever.

He hears her coming several minutes before she appears from between thick leaves, smiling at him, looking faintly worried.

"Here you are! People always ask about you when you're gone, you know."

Thor turns and regards her fondly, half-raising a hand in greeting. "I'm never gone long."

"Doesn't make you any less vital to everyone; of course they'll miss you," she frowns in mock-irritation and moves to stand beside him, hesitating, "what are you doing out here?"

_What... what indeed._

He takes a deep breath, the dampness of the morning air cool upon his face. "Day is nearly upon us. Things will really start to change soon."

"Mm," he jumps slightly as he feels a hand tugging gently on his hair, "you've been changing too."

Thor sees the sadness in her expression; almost wistful, and he knows it's echoed in his own. "It's not conscious. I... don't entirely know why myself. Is this my true appearance? Do I even have one? Or, maybe, it's just because I want him with me." His smile is dry, a little bitter. "Does it hurt you, to see me like this?"

She's silent for a moment, but then laughs - it's light, though a little sad, but Thor doesn't know if he's ever seen her smile so honestly.

"No," she reaches up and rests a hand on his shoulder; a friendly, warm weight, that of a companion, and someone he can trust. "Thor is Thor, and you can only bring hope."

Simple words, but ones that mean so much.

"Chen... thank you." He smiles, now-darkened hair falling into his eyes, and moves forward away from the tree, to gaze upwards past the tangled branches into the sky above.

"You'll come back soon?" Her voice is fainter already, and he knows she's heading back to continue her own work.

Thor doesn't reply, because it's not needed, and he knows Chen understands. Of course he'll be back. Because with the dawn comes warmth, light, and most of all hope - for their new society, and new beginning on this planet that he regarded for so long as a prison.

But it's all different now, because Chimaera is... home.


End file.
